That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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