Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
