I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
