literally had 100 drinks last night.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize