He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
