I'm eating all of the evidence.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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