found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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