dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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