just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
