So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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