College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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