You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
