So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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