Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This is the high leading the old right now
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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