Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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