I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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