my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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