escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
