I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
