ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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