He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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