Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
