That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
