dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
