I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
