Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
