a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
