Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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