You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
