I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
