I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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