Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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