id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
