Me. At least after what I've been through.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
