Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
