oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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