Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
