Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
