i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This is the high leading the old right now
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
