just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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