Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
