I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
