Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
