I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm both gender and math confused
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
