His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize