I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
