Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
