She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
All I want is dick and wine.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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