Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
