I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
