Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
