i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize