Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
