ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
