Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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