So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
3 2 1 whiskey
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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