What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
