you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
