im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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