you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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