We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
