we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I see more hoeing in ur future
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize