38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
