is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
